I’ve talked with a couple of friends lately who both mentioned that they struggle with one of the foundational tenets of Christianity…the belief that God loves them.
They have no trouble whatsoever believing that God loves others…it’s the jump from “them to me” that they wrestle with.
I think there are quite a few of us who have been there at one time or another. And for those of you reading this who never struggle with doubts of this kind? Well, I love people like you. You spread certainty and you are so good for me. I’m grateful.
But for those of you who wonder sometimes…I thought maybe we could think this through together and see where we end up.
I think it’s so good for us to take hard looks at ourselves. We need introspection. Those bits of reflection help keep us on track, right? But for some of us, there can be a tendency to hyper-focus on the flaws, and this is where the uncertainty creeps in. What started out as a good exercise can develop into doubt and we end up wondering if God can love people so obviously flawed. This is not good thinking, friends.
It’s easy to misunderstand here, so I want to be clear. We will never be able to measure up to His perfection and holiness, and of course, we can never do anything that earns what He wants most to freely give. That’s nonsense and none of us should ever go down those roads. Every single one of them leads somewhere dangerous…to legalism at bad, and heresy at worst.
Just don’t do it.
But there are one or two other little things we need to get out of the way…things that lurk around the edges of our thought processes and are just waiting to trip us up:
First, it’s far too easy for us to look at our circumstances and allow these to dictate what we believe about God’s love for us. But this is another dead end, isn’t it?
If things are going well, we may think that somehow God is extra pleased with our efforts in His behalf. But this doesn’t even come close to what we’re taught. Our best efforts are as filthy rags, remember? (There’s Old Testament authority for you.)
On the other hand, if things are going badly, we may think that God is displeased with us and that He is up there wishing we would somehow get our act together so that He can give us good things. I would offer the apostle Paul as Exhibit A here to help dispel this myth. If anyone in history has had a worse personal litany of bad days in the service of his King, I’ve yet to hear of it.
Here’s the happy truth, friends: God’s love for you will never depend on your actions or your inactions. Think of it this way…you are loved precisely as much right now as you ever will be by the One who imagined you into existence. You can ignore Him if you wish; He gives you that right, but He’d much rather you didn’t.
The difference between those of us who chose to let Him sanctify us and those of us who don’t will never lie in the amount of love He pours out on either one of us. That love is exactly the same. The difference lies in the kind of life the two of us will end up living; and consequently, the kind of life we will end up giving back to Him.
Do you ever stop and think – not about the degree of His love for us – but the individuality of it? It’s so worth your time!
Because, while of course He loves us all the same amount, He also loves us all differently. He loves me as “Michelle” differently than He loves my husband, or my girls, or that momma dropping her kids off at school in California…the one I will never meet this side of heaven.
He formed us individually, so He loves us individually, too. I love that He is so relational! Wrap your head around the truth of this statement:
God made you a masterpiece of one.
He really did. You are unlike anyone else and so it follows that there will never be another person that God can relate to in the same way that he relates to you.
If we take the next logical step here, that means that no person ever created will be able to bring joy to the heart of God in quite the same way that YOU will. Remember your English lit class and what Mr. Rochester said to Jane?
“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I’m afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I would take to bleeding inwardly.”
We are tied in some mystical, amazing, way to what Johann Sebastian described as “uncreated light” and as we are “striving still to truth unknown,” you and I have very specific roles to fill. I can’t fill yours and you can’t fill mine.
And here’s where the real mystery of a joyful life begins. He wants us just to believe that. To let that truth settle in and make us into people who don’t worry about being good enough or right enough or perfect enough. He would like us to know with certainty that nothing will separate us from His love, and He spends quite a lot of effort hammering that point home on the pages of scripture.
He does this in the hopes that when we mess up, we will shake off the dust of disappointment or despair as quickly as we can and scoot back into the path of His glorious light. Course corrections will have to be made over and over during our time on earth…so make them. Get help in the making of them if you need it; I’ve had to do that time and again! We aren’t meant to do the necessary work of growing alone.
Learn from your mistakes. Let them make you more loving, more patient. Allow them to make you over into a person who willingly gives second chances because you see how many times you have needed those do-overs yourself.
God has to be the most patient, optimistic Being, don’t you think? I sure do. I know some would call Him a realist, but I want you to think deeper than that. Of course the One who knows all, sees all, understands all, would have to be a realist. But against all odds – and who knew these better than Him – He still decides we are worth His time and trouble. I hope that thought floods your heart and soul with so much JOY!
I suppose it’s hard for us comprehend the love God has for us because we are such relational creatures and we so commonly equate love with tangibility. I know I do and I bet you’re no different.
I know what some people will say to these doubts because they’ve said it to me, and I’ve said it to myself:
“But, Michelle! The pages of Wisdom are full of reminder after reminder of his love for us! How can you ever think otherwise?!”
Well, I know.
We truly do have one “great and precious promise” after another that the God of Heaven and Indescribable Light loves us…that his thoughts concerning us are “precious, vast, and outnumber the grains of sand.”
Still we hesitate sometimes to believe that this kind of love reaches us. Isn’t it strange? Let’s go back to my friends for a moment…the ones who can so easily believe that kind of love exists for everyone else. I think we need to look at their struggle a little closer and see if we can relate to it.
I think of my own life and I wonder…
Other than redemption, the greatest gift I’ve been given is the love of family and friends. But if we take my relationship with my husband, for example…
What if he repeatedly left me notes that said,
“I love you, Michelle!”
“Hey, I’m thinking of you today. You’re really important to me!”
But, let’s suppose for a moment that these notes were never followed up with an action that demonstrated the truth of the words.
Suppose I got a note in place of a kiss.
A note instead of an indulgent smile as we found our seats in the Warren 21 for a chick flick when he really wanted to see “Mission Impossible”.
What if the squeezed hand in church, the running out at 11pm for Excedrin Migraine, the kiss on the top of the head never occurred? Would the notes really be all I needed to know he loved me?
Oh, man. As if.
Not a chance. I know myself so well. I would love the note, but I would also long for much more.
I think more of us than care to admit it are just like me. It’s all fine and good to read words on a page and believe them wholeheartedly (or want to believe them wholeheartedly), yet still wish for the relational. We read over and that “we are engraved on the palms of God’s hands”, that we are “loved with an everlasting love” and “drawn close with loving-kindness.” But still we sometimes wonder how that relates to each of us singly; to the individual.
To me.
Right here and right now.
Look at these words from Psalms:
“One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.
By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me.”
Beautiful words, but sometimes, we still want more, don’t we? And that “more” should come often in the love of the people who live around us. In the earthy, tangible reality of Christ walking with us, talking with us, coming alongside with an arm around us.
We need each other. We need each other desperately. In obedience to our King, we are called to be His proxy. We have the privilege of being His messengers…the ones carrying peace and the good news of the Kingdom.
But, I also think He’s left another avenue open for us…one that is so obvious, and yet so often overlooked. And I hope this is helpful to those of you who struggle, and wonder, and wish.
For all of you who have ever thought those words of love contained in the Book of Wisdom are for every other person, but not for you, here’s what I want you to do:
Go get your copy of the Word and take the time to re-read the words that are perhaps familiar theoretically, but maybe unfamiliar in actuality.
When we doubt God’s love for us, the very best thing we can do is focus on the greatest example we have of Love, which of course is the person of Christ. Mike always reminds students in his Apologetic classes that when they want to understand what the God of wonder is like, they simply need look to Jesus.
So, take a moment and let yourself imagine what it might have it been like to live with Christ. To work with Him, and watch and listen and speak with Him. To eat dinner and laugh at weddings with Him, and to be right there when He told that lame man to get up, pick up his mat and walk home. To have front row seats as He got His hands dirty, so to speak.
I think what we fail to realize is that in a very real sense we are the rich young ruler asking questions and waiting for answers.
We are the hungry mom trying to quiet equally hungry toddlers on a hillside outside of Bethsaida with a few thousand of her friends and neighbors.
At one time or another, we are all one of two heartbroken sisters weeping for their brother in Bethany.
Or listening to a risen King speak words of hope…our hearts filled with so much joy that we feel they’ll burst if we so much as take a breath.
Friends, read these words as a participant, not an observer. That’s what they’re written for! Every emotion ever felt by humanity is represented in the pages of this specific, priceless revelation he left for us. If we read without entering into the narrative we miss so much of the point. And then we run the risk of doing our Creator a massive disservice. We hold out one hand asking him to reveal himself, but refuse to accept the answer with the other. That’s the equivalent of selling him short, don’t you think?
I love that as modern readers, we who struggle with trusting in God’s love get just exactly what we want. The accounts of His life on earth showcase His attention to detail everywhere. Lean in closer to the pages of Truth and use your eyes to see and your ears to hear.
He turned society, culture and conventional thinking on its head. He treated the woman caught in sin with exactly the same tenderness that He did when he asked for a child to be brought to Him to represent the kingdom of God. He really did use the poor and least of these to represent what Kingdom living is truly about.
If we could wrap our heads around how much we are cherished, we would walk through life with our heads held high…not in arrogance, but in joy. We would frequently find ourselves catching our breath because we are so exquisitely loved.
I think about those who are gifted with earthly mothers and fathers, husbands, wives or children who love them well. Those people have a taste of what love looks like. But of course not everyone does; so they need to see it in us. They must see it in us.
Our friend who sat writing the beautiful words in Hebrews all those years ago wrapped this all up quite nicely in our behalf:
“The Son is the radiance of God’s glory, the exact representation of His being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.”
That settles it rather finally for us, doesn’t it? It tells us that God’s love is not only perfect and never ending and patient (because that’s specifically how Christ related to those poor in spirit who were physically with Him), it’s also practical…think cup of cold water here. Or think of the leper who suddenly found himself in baby-soft skin running home – (home, mind you, not to some cave outside the city!) – clean for the first time in years. Think of a father who’s little girl is restored to him, or a weary woman brushing Christ’s robe with the tips of her fingers, hoping against hope that maybe this man has an answer for her.
So for all of you dear ones out there who have trouble believing that God could ever love you…just stop it. And I’m talking to myself here, too. Those doubts are put to rest repeatedly in the pages of scripture. And sealed most emphatically by the proof that the matter is done.
It’s finished, remember? And so we walk forward in a spirit of gratitude; we are those living sacrifices that Paul talked about in the pages of his letter to the Romans, living gracefully and lovingly and joyfully because of what we’ve been given. And because of this, we can confidently say right along with John Newton, “and God who called me here below, shall be forever mine.”
Oh, I love it.